I had to sit down with one of my clients this week and help them through some performance reviews of their team members. Some conversations were going to be very difficult for them. However, even when we come across problems with the people that work for us, we have to not only look at what they are doing or aren’t doing, but at those things for ourselves as well. A problem with someone isn’t always necessarily their fault.
When assessing your staff and their performance level, we must also look hard at ourselves. How are we showing up as a leader? Are we giving them the tools they need to succeed, or simply doling out tasks and managing? Having the patience to teach people new things and giving them time to learn them are qualities a good leader needs to possess.
Sure, it can be frustrating and disappointing if someone isn’t immediately meeting the expectations you set for them. But we need to give them time and space. Time to rise to their highest potential through guidance, and a space full of uplifting and nurturing people that want to help them get there instead of write them off.
Right around the time that we were having these conversations, my husband and I took a leap of faith and decided we wanted to adopt two puppies. They were sisters and we couldn’t bare to separate them, so we went ahead and adopted both.
I had a very clear expectation going into this decision, and of course, things don’t really ever turn out the way we expect them too, right? But what we don’t realize, is things turn out exactly the way they were supposed to. Things aren’t ever going to be perfect, so instead, we need to gear our focus towards patience and progress instead of comparing what is actually going on to unrealistic expectations. There will be challenges along the way, but those are there to teach us what we need to know. These puppies gave me a bit of stress at first, wondering whether or not getting them was a good decision or if we were in way over our heads. But they are a welcome change in my life and are already teaching me those two things: patience and progress.
I try to have control over the things that come into my life, just like a lot of the leaders I see and work with out in the business world. Especially in these uncertain and changing times, they want so badly to have control over everything that they end up losing it completely. At the end of the day, you just need to accept that things will be how they will be and all you can do is show up as best you can and lead those around you through it. Accept the fact that mistakes will be made and people will mess up, but being patient with them through their progress will only help them be better managers, better employees. Better puppies.
A second lesson learned in my recent adoptions, is that we need to be really honest with ourselves. Where we are, what we want, and how we’re going to go about getting there. If something isn’t coming out the way you expected, we need to look back at how we are going about it and maybe there lies the problem. It might be uncomfortable, but until we step out of our zone of comfort, we won’t see the things we desire.
Too often do people remain in a state of frustration because we are afraid to step out into the unknown and take a chance at something new. Getting these puppies, I definitely questioned myself. But all I really needed to do was be honest with myself about why I was questioning it: I was afraid of the major life change. And now that we have them and I have a new schedule for my day and making more time for them and myself, I am starting to see how good of a decision it really was. I have less control, but I take things as they come and accept them for what they are. I’ve learned to just let go.
Not a thing in this world is perfect, and if we try to make things perfect, we will inevitably be disappointed, every time. However, if we try and focus of the progress we are making from where we first started and all of the things we learn along the way, we get closer to that idea of “perfection” and the things we really want.
Every day is a learning process. Every day is a new beginning. We won’t ever know what the future holds for us, but if we can accept that and accept that we don’t have control over everything, we can start to gain some control on ourselves. Figure out what it is we are really working towards and what it is that’s important to us. When we reach that point of letting go, we can move forward towards success.
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Episode 70 – The 3 Most Important Days You Have
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