To download a transcription of this episode click here.
Hello! Welcome back!
Today’s topic is going to be something that many people struggle with, no matter if you are a business owner or not…the fear of rejection.
There are many fears that come up in your life, but the fear of rejection is probably the biggest. So many people miss out on opportunities because of this fear. I am not immune to this fear, I actually had one of my biggest fears come true recently. For those of you who follow me on facebook, you know that I do live videos every week. Somehow, some way, a troll group found themselves on my page and EVERY time I would sign on to do my facebook live video this group would show up and start spamming me, like clockwork. They would say the meanest things, while there were my regular followers there at the same time.
This went on for at least two weeks and over those two weeks they started chipping away at who I am. They were mocking my looks, my ideas, they were rejecting me. They made me start to question my drive and dream to make this world a better place.
Luckily when this rejection happened it also reminded me of where this fear of rejection came from and it allowed me to tackle and take on this rejection.
I have struggled with a fear of rejection since I was little and I am still not immune to it. I have learned, over the years, to talk more about this because for the longest time I felt like I wasn’t allowed to have these fears as a leader… But in reality, talking about these issues has given me a bigger platform to connect to people on and it reminds people that I am human. It allows me to help my clients step into their value and stop limiting themselves.
Here is a big thing to remember when you hear someone say something negative about you, when people say negative things, they are more about them then they are about you.
As I mentioned before my fear of rejection started early, because I was rejected a lot as a child. I was heavier, I had braces, I had kinky curls, I developed early, I was awkward, and I was crazy creative–which wasn’t looked upon in a good way.
I have been told; your thighs are too big, I won’t date you unless you lose weight, you can’t be a ballerina because you are too fat.
Starting early on I experienced a lot of rejection–my family was not accepted where I grew up because we weren’t as affluent as our neighbours.
So you can see where my anxieties and fears stemmed from. Being told you are too fat at the age of six and starting to diet before I was a fully matured adult took its toll on me. And over the years my fear of rejection got worse and I was trying to fit in and be someone I wasn’t. For the longest time I even thought I was an extrovert because that is what others expected…but I am not.
I know I am not alone in this, there are so many people who feel like they are not enough, or feel like they don’t belong, even celebrities. This feeling of not being enough is perpetuated by the social media world we live in and the highlight reel that is Instagram providing snapshots into these perfect moments in people’s lives.
It is so easy to fall into the trap of not feeling like you’re good enough and like everyone else around you has their life so much more together.
When I started my first business it took me a really long time to realize that I was letting my fears dictate who I was acting like and what I was doing. I was acting like and mimicking my mentors instead of leaning into my individuality and strengths. When you try to be like everyone else you are just adding to the noise, and hurting your business. Allowing other people to dictate who you are by what they say instead of what you can do and how you can help is no way to live.
What I learned over the years that you need to own who you are and stand by it instead of letting other people rule your life.
I am here to tell you how I turned my fear of rejection into who I was meant to be. I took control, I stood in a room with a ton of other entrepreneurs and announced that I had a fear of rejection. I said, “I have a giant fear of rejection. And it has held me back from being me and from doing what I was brought here to do. Which is to feed more souls so that we can feed more bellies.
I moved from having people tell me I’m not smart enough, I’m fat, I’m not pretty enough, I’m not enough.” And in that moment, standing in that room of entrepreneurs, I decided enough was enough. And I was done with that. So I told my story. I committed to putting myself out there whether or not I was rejected. And being okay with being rejected one time, 10 times, 20 times, a hundred times, a thousand times just so I could get my message out, just so I could put myself out there and get my message out to the world because whether a thousand people reject me, one person is going to hear what I have to say and as soon as I shifted my mindset and said, “I am committing to being rejected,” I started putting myself out there.
I had gone years without using my voice I wasn’t going to hide anymore and I wasn’t going to be afraid anymore.Because here’s the deal, When you are ready to open yourself up to the world no matter what, and to really step into that fear,the world is going to embrace you and open up back to you. And yeah, there are haters and there are trollers.
When I opened myself up to rejection and reminded myself that those trollers were saying more about themselves than they were about me… an amazing thing started happening. More people started showing up on my lives and more people were hearing my message, and they were people who NEEDED to hear my message.
If you are afraid, if you are devaluing yourself, if you are limiting yourself because you are afraid of being rejected… YOU NEED TO STOP! I am here to tell you to put your foot down and use your voice for good. No matter where you are in life or business you were brought to that table for a reason. But, if you are afraid of using your voice for good, or you are afraid of not being enough, it is time to change your mentality. If you reject yourself with these limiting beliefs then you are the one standing in your way and keeping yourself from achieving your dreams.
Are you going to fall down? YEP! Are you going to keep going and make it through? HECK YEA!
Don’t be afraid to put ideas together, think outside the box, believe in the value of yourself so you can make the impact you were meant to make.
Let go of that fear of rejection and embrace your weirdness. Let’s work together to make this world a better place than we found it.
You are amazing
You are innovative
You are smart
You are ready!
Step into your higher purpose.
If you enjoyed this episode and in some way, it inspired you to start taking action, I’d love to hear about it and know your biggest takeaway. Send me a DM on Instagram @theresacantley and let me know what your favorite part was.
I would also love if you subscribed to the podcast and left a review at https://theresacantley.com/itunes
If there is a topic you would love me to talk about or a question you may have, send it to us at theresa@theresacantley.com and we’ll feature it on one of our future episodes.
LINKS:
Episode 38 – Stop Scrambling to Get New Traffic.
Episode 37 – What I learned from slowing down that will help you ACHIEVE more in your business.
Schedule a call with me – Click Here!
Connect with me on Instagram & Facebook!
Join me for Theresa Cantley’s Business Growth Formula – Click Here!
