You can’t lead people to a place you aren’t willing to lead yourself. If you’re not willing to grow, change, and learn, you can’t expect others to follow. Today, I want to share a story with you that was so impactful in how I came to understand what leading yourself means – so that you can learn from it and be a better leader for your team.
A Story on a Broken Work Culture
While writing my book on leadership, an old memory resurfaced. I was working under a leadership team that embodied “old school” leadership. The owners of the business were focused on top-line revenue, acquisitions, and personal profit. Meanwhile, myself and the other next-level leaders were passionate about developing people, fostering innovation, and pushing the business toward ethical and sustainable growth.
The clash of values created constant friction. Ideas for improving processes and supporting employees were often dismissed as “silly” or “the dumbest idea.” Despite the resistance, we as the next-level leaders continued to advocate for ethical practices and employee development.
Enter the Business Coach
In 2009, the primary owner of the business hired a business coach after attending a meeting where the coach promised to 10X their revenue. Even at the time, the coach’s methods seemed questionable. Nevertheless, our team was sent on a retreat meant to bridge the gap between the owners and the next-level leaders.
At the retreat, the business coach facilitated an exercise called “file dumping,” where each person had to share their frustrations about everyone else in the room. What was intended to foster open communication instead became a breeding ground for blame and tension.
The Real Lesson: Leading Yourself First
Through this challenging experience, I was reminded of a lesson: True leadership starts from within. If you’re not willing to grow, change, and lead yourself, you can’t expect others to follow.
Leadership isn’t just about driving profits or controlling processes. It’s about personal development, learning new things, and being the best version of yourself. When leaders prioritize their own growth, they create a culture where innovation, trust, and ethical practices can thrive.
4 Lessons on Leading Yourself
Here are four key lessons to help you start leading yourself, so you can become the change your business needs.
1. Let Go of What’s Weighing You Down (Even If It’s You)
Self-doubt never fully disappears – it simply evolves as you grow. The higher you climb the leadership ladder, the more complex your fears become. But instead of letting those fears hold you back, face them head-on.
Ask yourself: “What is weighing me down?” Just like a rocket sheds its boosters to reach new heights, you need to release the beliefs and habits that no longer serve you. Whether it’s perfectionism, control issues, or the fear of being exposed, letting go of these burdens allows you to lead with clarity and confidence.
2. Develop the Next Level of Leaders
True leadership isn’t about doing everything yourself – it’s about empowering others to rise. Nurture the next generation of leaders in your business. This means having open, honest conversations to understand where your team members feel stuck or frustrated and finding ways to support their growth.
Identify the people with potential and invest in their development. When you focus on building a team of capable, empowered leaders, you create a culture where everyone can thrive – and you avoid the mistakes of micromanagement and control.
3. Have a Vision Beyond Your Product or Service
Businesses that focus solely on revenue or their latest offering often miss the bigger picture. Have a vision that goes beyond what you sell. It’s about creating a meaningful impact and fostering a positive, energized culture.
As a leader, ask yourself: “Am I doing what it takes to support my team?” This means investing in their training, helping them align their strengths with the business’s goals, and ensuring your processes enable success. When you get the people and the culture right, the products and profits will follow.
4. Believe in Something Bigger Than Yourself
When challenges arise, it’s easy to blame external factors – the economy, competitors, or even your team. But sometimes those roadblocks are actually a course correction from something bigger than ourselves.
Instead of assigning blame, use setbacks as an opportunity to reflect and grow. Regular debrief meetings can reveal valuable insights about what’s working and what needs improvement. More importantly, staying connected to a larger purpose fuels resilience and keeps you grounded when times get tough.
Resources Mentioned
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