Be More Present and Build Better Relationships By Setting Healthy Boundaries

Episode 72 – Be More Present and Build Better Relationships By Setting Healthy Boundaries

There is something that I have always seemed to struggle with. At times it ruled my life and my business to the point where I would break down in tears because I just didn’t know how to fix it. But until I made the decision to set real boundaries for myself was when I could finally begin to breathe and think clearly again.

Setting boundaries can be a tough thing to do as a business owner. You are constantly being pulled in so many directions and overseeing everything that goes on from the ground up, having time for yourself doesn’t even seem like a viable option. But when it all becomes too much it can all come crashing down. Not only is it possible to do, it’s vital to the health of your business and more importantly, yourself.

The trick is to remember that we aren’t setting up borders, just boundaries. Healthy ones that can be flexible, but also allow you that time and space you need to take care of what you need first. Owning a business is a lot to handle for anybody, and nobody can do it alone. Even trying to manage that kind of work load will tear the strongest of people down. We want our employees to be happy, and we want our customers to be happy, and to make that happen, we also need to be happy.

When clients of mine have trouble setting boundaries for themselves, as we all do, they start to fall into a pattern of working longer hours, constantly checking phones or emails, and not taking a second away from just reacting. Reacting to whatever task or problem is next on the list when what they really need is to just take a step back and know when to step back in. And to help them work towards this goal, I tell my clients to set up boundaries around three main things:

  1. Your schedule. Always create a plan for your day in advance. Make sure you understand what it looks like and that it is communicated to others as well. Schedule out your meetings for the day or hours when you can be reached. Another thing you’ll want to do is set aside a few hours or days even for you to just be creative. No meetings, no calls to be taken; just time and space for you to do you. One of the most important parts of my daily schedule that everyone should incorporate into theirs is to not look at your phone right away. Give yourself a bit to wake up, have a cup of coffee, and get your head on straight before you start dealing with the endless list of emails and texts that await you.
  2. Your employees. The list of things that may or may not require your attention is endless as an entrepreneur. Don’t let employees overwhelm or derail you by giving them complete, 100% access to you. I tell many of my clients to only allow contact by email. A little less personal, but people have emails on their phones and you will still receive the message in a timely manner. Whatever the method of contact may be, make sure they are aware of how and when to get a hold of you so that you don’t lose focus of the other things you need to get done. You also want to set up a time, like I mentioned in scheduling, to meet with people. Having office hours when you can be reached made available to your staff will make sure that their needs or concerned are heard, but does not cut into your time to focus elsewhere.
  3. Your meetings. This one is one I’ve had the most trouble with. I set meetings for myself at all hours of the day that I didn’t have any time to connect with people on social media, or to be creative, or anything else in my day. Block a certain day or time that you will take meetings and communicate that to your staff. Having that communication and clarity is key in setting these boundaries.

Setting boundaries are not meant to put up a wall or keep people out, but just to let people know when to give you your own space. This industry can consume you if you let it, but when you make it known when you’ve had enough for the day and you need time to rest, to reflect, to just think, that is what setting healthy boundaries are and they are absolutely necessary if you want to thrive.

So take a moment, take a sheet of paper out, and write down: What do you need to do to set boundaries around these three super important things? Leave me a comment, let me know what was most helpful for you. And if you need some extra inspiration, I have a free audio download that you can save onto your phone. It’s a very short audio download to keep you motivated and keep you moving forward when you are trying to set these boundaries, or what it feels like when you know a boundary has been crossed, and you need to go back and fix it. Hopefully it will bring you some inspiration as you are trying to move forward with setting these boundaries.

If you enjoyed this episode and in some way it inspired you to start taking action, I’d love to hear about it and know your biggest take away. Send me a DM on Instagram @theresacantley and let me know what your favorite part was.  

Don’t forget to take advantage of my FREE download, 10 Tips Towards Massive Growth, to learn how to jump-start your business to get back on it’s track towards success.

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If there is a topic you would love me to talk about or a question you may have send it to us at theresa@theresacantley.com and we’ll feature it on one of our future episodes.

LINKS:

To download a transcription of this episode click here.

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