Today’s topic has to do with being less stressed and getting out of that swirl. I heard a talk a little while ago by Gabby Bernstein and Kris Carr (If you don’t follow them you definitely should, they are great!) and they talked about “leaving room for space and grace.” What that means is leaving room in your mind or in your everyday life for beautiful things to happen. A lot of times we get so stressed and caught up in our everyday swirl, we lose our focus. We get into the swirl of the expectations that we put on ourselves, of what we “should” be doing. One of the things my friend Phyllis Bucci always says is that we live in a world of “shoulds,” always thinking of what we should be doing (Psst! Go see her if you’re in the Ambler, Pennsylvania area – at Holistic Apothecary) .
So today I wanted to talk about the tips that I use myself and actually coach people on when we’re setting goals and focusing on working smarter, not necessarily harder. When you start using these tips, you are doing less but achieving more, and it opens you up to amazing things in your life because you’re clearing out all of the junk.
Tip #1 – Get really clear on what you want. Get clear on your burning desire. What sets your soul on fire? That’s going to help you make decisions on what’s best for you. It’s the first thing I teach people, to figure out your main priority in life, what’s most important to you? If you’re doing things that don’t support that main priority, running here and running there, and filling your day with stuff, and you never focus on that main priority, you’re never going to be able to accomplish it.
And P.S. – When I work on goals with clients, we don’t just set them in one area, we look at all aspects of your life.
Tip #2 – Getting on the “NO Train.” This is something I have had to work on. When I first started my business, I was saying “Yes” to everything. “Yes I can help you.” “Oh sure I can do that!”
What was I doing? I was filling my day with all of this stuff that didn’t support my main priority, and overbooking and over-committing myself. What ended up happening was, I was saying “No” to myself, because if I don’t take care of me, how can I take care of anybody else? It’s okay if you don’t say yes to everything. You have your own priorities. If you don’t want to say yes to it, don’t do it! Say, “I’ll check my schedule and get back to you,” or “Thank you for thinking of me! I really appreciate it, but no thank you. I can’t do it this time.” My mentor says, when you say no to an opportunity, it opens up space for more amazing opportunities to flow in. You don’t have to be everything to everyone.
Tip #3 – Give yourself permission to decommit. When I first started my consulting business, because I was saying yes to everything, I was blocking my days where I was going from meeting to meeting to meeting. What ended up happening was, I had a hard time getting caught up on all the things I needed to implement and get done after the meetings. So I always felt like I was running behind… and what does that produce? Stress. And we all want to be less stressed, right? That’s the key. Give yourself permission to decommit if you overbook yourself. If you look at your day and think, “I just can’t do it,” it’s okay to say “I’m sorry, I can’t make it today, I’m going to have to reschedule.” You don’t want to make yourself feel stressed out, running from place to place. You end up forgetting about you. You end up filling your day with all of this busy stuff, and you have no room for space, you have no room to be creative, you have no room to let grace in, let blessings in, let in opportunities that set your soul on fire and inspire you.
So, make sure you get clear on your priorities first, get clear on what you want. That’s super important. Then, look at what you’re doing throughout the day, and see if it supports that main priority. If not, you probably need to let it go, to clear out all the junk. The second thing is, get on the “No Train!” You don’t have to say yes to everything. When you let go of an opportunity that doesn’t really fit what you’re doing, it’s going to make room for more opportunities that will fuel your soul. I’ve heard business experts say that, it’s okay to say no to things because you’re saying yes to new opportunities to come into your life. The third thing is, don’t be afraid to decommit. If you joined an organization because you thought you had to join, and you’re not really that into it, it’s okay to decommit. So that you’re not overbooked, overstressed, and not getting your goals accomplished. Once you clear out the junk, then you start filling your day with joy.
So a couple little extra tips: During the day, I recommend taking a look at your list of things to do and pick just three things that you absolutely need to get done that day. The rest of the stuff in your day, it’s okay if you don’t get it done, maybe you’ll do it the next day. Those three things should really inspire you, you should be passionate about them, and they should support that main priority. Take a look at what you’re doing and decide what’s clogging up the space? Are you overbooked? Are there things that you can let go of? Things that don’t inspire you… things that are taking up room. There is no room. And then, recommit yourself to focusing on the things that bring you joy, the things that you’re passionate about, and the things you want to move forward with. Focus on those, because if you focus on those, so many more things are going to open up. So many more blessings will come.
If there’s someone you think this can help, please share it, share the love! If you’re trying to figure out your goals, please check out my new course on Staying Motivated.